oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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