It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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