I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
