Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
