I think my vagina is haunted
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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