i was rollin on her like bob the builder
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
