sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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