it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
