Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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