you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
