2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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