i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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