There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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