A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
