these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
