she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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