Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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