Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
