honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she looked like the before picture.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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