Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
