We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
