..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
