i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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