I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just invented taco cereal.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
