as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
