i just had sex bonerless
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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