Who wears a wallet chain?!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
