I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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