Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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