I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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