He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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