I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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