Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
