the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
