Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
