This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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