the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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