we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
