OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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