You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
