I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
