there was a trapeze. enough said
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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