Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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