At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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