I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
