he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
