I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
