Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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