How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
