she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
