He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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