Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
