Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's shark week go big or go home
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
