you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you will always have a special place in my vag
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
