My hand turned me down
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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