I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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