Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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