Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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