Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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