I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
