You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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