My brain says no but my pants say off.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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