TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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