dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
