who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize