my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
