So drunk, too bad you don't want this
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
