He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
